This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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