oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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