I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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