there was a trapeze. enough said
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
