I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
