? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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