I want to stick my p in your. b.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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