I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
