so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
