I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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