I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
they call him Oral-B. enough said
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
