i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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