Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
