Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
