what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize