Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
