I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
