I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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