Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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