And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
