I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize