Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
