DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
