Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Randomize
