I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she told me i tasted like america
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
