i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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