Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
