Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
