corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
