Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We have so much sex to catch up on
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
