He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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