I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
