hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
