no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i dont even know how to be here
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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