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Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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