I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
