Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
