She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
