nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
