I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
