my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
