Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
