So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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