My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
