Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
