omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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