So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize