Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
