Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
