you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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