More tranny stories later!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize