We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
