I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
‎"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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