I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
