Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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