That's intense
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
