sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Pappa wants mamma naked
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize