look no pants
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
