I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
