All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
