I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
