I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize