i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
