Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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