Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
