i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize