take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
