there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
