sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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