I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just made out with a guy for $7.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
