I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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