I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize