Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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